Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Let's Talk Tuesday...The Dating Life

Hi Girls!

Happy Tuesday!

If you've been reading for awhile, you know all about my single life.  If you are new here, Welcome! But to give you a little insight into me, I am a 30-something single gal walking through the steps of dating in sometimes the most interesting ways ever. You can read some of those funny, make you say "For Real?" stories here.  I've done nearly every online dating site, had more set up's from friends that I can count that wanted to introduce me to "the most perfect person for me" and dated more than I would probably admit to.  All in the pursuit of finding my "Mr. Right".  Yes, I know it may seem cliché but even though I may not act like it all the time, I do believe in love and I do believe that God has his plan on sending my perfect mate to me.  Unfortunately, I also know that it is in his own timing and not mine and I am a terribly impatient person.  I mean, come on God, I'm 37---what's the deal?!? 


Anywhoodle, I decided to jump back in the saddle a few weeks ago and on a whim joined Match.com.  OK, for any of you single gals that happen to stumble upon this blog and are new to online dating, my opinion is that most of the paid dating sites are all the same:  Match, Christian Mingle and eHarmony.  I don't know anything about the sites you don't pay for (Tinder OKCupid, Zoosk, Plenty of Fish etc) because I've heard horrible things and never tried them so I can't give my personal opinion--plus I'm over the age of 21 and don't really believe these sites are geared toward a more seasoned lady like myself.  But back to the 3 I know (Match, Christian Mingle & eHarmony), I believe Match and Christian Mingle are the exact same site but one tries to make you believe that the men on are more Godly.  While that may be true, my personal experience says that there are just as many Godly men as ungodly ones on the other sites too.  If that's what you are looking for, I've found that these guys typically put something in their profile about their faith---not just checking the box that shows their denomination but says they are involved in their church or their favorite music is Christian rock or that they are looking for a Christian woman, etc.  eHarmony claims that they match you up with compatible people to you based on queries that you have to fill out when you join.  I've met some nice guys here BUT I prefer the "shopping experience" (Yes, I know that sounds horrible but I'm being honest here) you get from the other sites where you can browse 1,000's of profiles looking for one you might be interested in. 
And this is clearly a joke but I laughed when I looked up "Online Dating Memes" and this came up. 

Now back to my whim, I was up late one Thursday night and a Match.com commercial came on and I thought, "Why not?"  What do I have to lose?  $29.99 for the first month?  So, I set up everything from my phone on my couch in about a half hour.  Within 5 minutes of me completing my profile, I received this message.
 
And then I questioned myself as to why I was wasting $29.99!  But I remembered from my past experience that this happens and that this won't be the last message of this kind that I receive. 

For you single gals who are considering online dating, it is a bit overwhelming when you first get on one of these sites.  I've found that having thick skin helps when stepping out into this world---believe me you'll understand once you get there.  You will get inappropriate messages.  You will get lots of men looking at your pictures and reading your profile but never leaving a message.  You will probably see people you know that you hope didn't see your profile first.  My hope is that after weeding out some of the bad ones, you will also find someone that piques your interests and vice versa and you start communicating which leads to the first date and so on and so on. 

Now with that being said, I've had many messages similar to the one above.  Those are easy for me to weed out.  What's more difficult is the ones that actually do catch your eye---a profile is exactly that.  It's words out on the world wide web.  You can say whatever you want about yourself, anything that may make you seem more attractive to the opposite sex.  There are certain things (height so I can wear my heels, certain similarities in hobbies, love for God, etc).  I look for when scanning through profiles---and everyone will be different with this.  I often laugh because some guys say they LOVE long walks on the beach, cuddling by a fireplace, reading books together---hmm, did you steal that from some other profile?  I'm not saying these things aren't true but my super cynical self says this guy is probably a douchebag and is just wanting me to like his profile.

My experience over the last few weeks have actually been ok.  Before I move on to the better dates that I've gone on, let me tell y'all the one that "almost happened".  You guys know I try to be as completely transparent as possible on here and provide all the details that I can and this is one that I literally had to LOL at.  "The Organist" was someone that caught my attention on the site--I mean, he's a professional organist.  Did y'all even know those even existed?  I had no idea. Anyway, we had a few phone conversations and texted on and off for a few days and finally arranged to meet up for coffee.  On the way there, I received the below text with him stating that traffic was bad and asked to push back 15 minutes.  No biggie I said...until I received the next text about 5 minutes later.  HA!  Have you ever heard a man say "I'm a mess" before?  Obviously, he had some other things going on so I said "so be it" and let it go. 
There have been two other suitors, one (I'm calling him "The Nurse") that I went on a couple of dates with and he was a good Christian man, polite, attractive (although his pictures were very dated) and we had a nice time together.  However, I think we both felt no connection or attraction whatsoever so we non-verbally (which means we just never reached out to one another after our second date) decided it just wasn't working.  The other suitor ("The Accountant") is someone that I might like.  We've gone out a few times now and he may just be giving me a run for my money on who can talk the most.  He's 38, never been married with no children--girls, this is like finding The Holy Grail or something.  He said he's been waiting for his other half.  Super rare to find and  he's funny, very smart, loves his family and is a bit different from guys I've dated in the past.  Again, back to where I mentioned the transparency part of my life that includes the personal deets of my dating.  Unlike my last dating experience, I am going to keep a lot of this under wraps for a good bit--maybe until I meet the one that I get engaged to or something ;)  Believe me, I will still keep you guys in the know with some of the 50,000 feet above view level because I love y'all and I love sharing with y'all even more.   But I want to make sure I am doing this the right way too :)

OK gals, that's all I have for "Let's Talk Tuesday".  Tomorrow I'm going to be talking about all the things that I've been into lately.  I'm planned out for the whole week in blogging---brace yourself, I know it's been a long time :)

Happy Tuesday!

15 comments:

Liz said...

Dating sites DO work (am married to someone I met on Match). But they do require patience, a sense of humor and yes a thick skin. But all the mediocre/disappointing/downright terrible experiences will make Mr. Right even more appreciated.

Jenny Morgan said...

Aww, thanks Liz for sharing that! I believe in the process but yes, you are right, they do require patience. I have many friends that have met their mates on Match and eHarmony :)

Laura said...

Of course "The Accountant" rocks!! All Accountants do! - Words of wisdom from a true Accountant! I absolutely HATE when they make us look so geeky and nerdy in movies and TV!! We're pretty awesome peeps! Loved reading about your experiences, Jenny! Hang in there and most of all, keep praying! I prayed for my man before I ever met him and God rewarded me "handsomely."

Susan Courson said...

Good for you! Good luck with "The Accountant" he sounds Amazing!

Jenny Morgan said...

LOL Laura :) Thank you for the support and the advice--I agree, I'm praying hard :)

Jenny Morgan said...

Thanks so much! So far, so good Susan---I'm really trying not to have any time expectations, taking it day by day :)

Kimm said...

I love reading your dating posts!! Maybe you can bring him to the beach and I can bring both of you over Fourth of July 😘😘😘😘

Deena Simair said...

The Organist. Love it. All my ex boyfriends have nicknames like that....

Lana L. said...

This probably isn't helpful at all, but one of my best friends is married to a man she met on match.com. So there's that :)! The man for you is definitely out there, and you will find him!!!

Laura Jackson said...

Mr. Accountant sounds great! The Holy Grail comment had me laughing---so true!

Jenny Morgan said...

Makes it easier to keep them organized :)

Jenny Morgan said...

LOL---we'll definitely talk about that when it gets closer to time.

Jenny Morgan said...

LOL, I totally agree with you---I have so many friends that used online dating as a resource with positive results. I know he's out there---patience just isn't a virtue that I have.

Jenny Morgan said...

It's funny how these things come to me, right Laura? Girl, they are out there---just trying to find them is the hard part LOL!

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